The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills!

The cat is now out of the bag ~ besides reading and scrapbooking (which I havent done in a long while) - one of my favorite shows is The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

I honestly have no idea why I enjoy the show so much.  To be honest, i dont care for the other housewives show  ~ so why this one? Maybe the "idea" of Beverly Hills (in California...not Michigan...not the same!) The "rich and famous", everyone knows "somebody".  I dont know...I just cant put my finger on it.  

What I do know though is how amazing their houses are.  How amazing they all dress.  How it must be nice that they are all  skinny and have chef's!  That they can just host a dinner party and its amazing!  How they are invited to the most elaborate of events or can just fly to Hawaii when they want.  Money does buy alot of things!

After watching it now the two seasons, what I have learned is this:  money CANT buy everything.  Money does NOT make you happy.  Going to incredible parties or hanging out with famous people does NOT change who you are...maybe who you know, but not who you are.  This past season was a hard one.  As many of you may know that Russell Armstrong died last summer ~ who was a husband of Taylor Armstrong who is on the show.  This season focused alot on abuse within the marriage of  this couple and it was very sad to see how far Taylor was breaking down.  You go to another cast member and you see how she starts spinning out of control due to being an alcoholic.  The others have issues as well but it certainly wasnt anything like these two.

It made me realize that money doesnt stop abuse from happening in a marriage and money doesnt stop someone from becoming an alcoholic.  Do I wish sometimes that I could have just one of their paychecks, yes! Do I wish I could have the drama that they all deal with, NO!  

Money may buy happiness in the form of material things.  When I saved my money for a few years (yes, YEARS) to buy a real Louis Vuitton purse ~ I was happy....I still am!  Do I treat it like gold when I use it ~ for sure!   But what makes me happy about it is that I saved the money.  I didnt just pull a credit card out and bought it because I could....it took dedication and alot of garage sales and mom-to-mom sales to earn the money to buy it.  It did and does make me happy BUT it doesnt give me true happiness.

I get true happiness from being with my family, going to church, being able to sleep in one day, reading a book.  But mostly my happiness comes from having Jesus!  Having Him with me daily, where I go, what I do, what I say...He is with me always.  Once I asked Him to come into my heart to live ~ that was it....He is NOT moving out!  This is where happiness comes from.  Not being invited to the next incredible party, not going and buying the next hottest item ($25,000 pair of sunglasses as one of the girls bragged about).  Not having money to buy whatever.  Some things may not always be what it seems ~ as in Taylor Armstrongs case.  She didnt realize the financial situation her husband was in until after he passed away.   

I hope you will get your happiness from Jesus, from the fact that He can live with you forever and then one day, you can live with Him forever in heaven.  Happiness with material things is substituting something that is missing in your life, possibly, and maybe that something is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ!

Faith like a child

Oh to have faith like a child!  Why is it that when we  start to grow up, even though we still have our faith, it doesn't seem to come as easy to share it?  

For me, I know I can sit down and share it with you ~ like this.  If you were in front of me, I would be able to share it but I would be more nervous about doing so.  I think it's the "rejection" issue that comes into play.  I think we are all afraid of being rejected by others and if we put ourselves out there and share our faith and witness to others ~ we could end up being rejected.

I look at Emily and her faith and love for going to church.  This is her first year in Awana and LOVES it.  I cant stress that enough!  I didnt know exactly what Awana really entailed until she was part of it.  For those of you who dont know, she learns Bible versus and says them each week.  She earns "wings" and beads when she has accomplished different things.  Last week she was able to say 10 versus ~ a few were review but the rest were new ones.  Last night she said the Old Testament books of the Bible, got her next Awana book and said about 3-4 versus out of there!  This being her very first year in it, I am just so proud of her!  If she finishes this book by the end of the Awana year, she will have finished 3 books!  That is ALOT of versus!  She amazes me.

So, she loves going to church.  She is always asking people to come to church, go to Awana with her...she just loves it!  You can see how let down she is when a friend cant come.  Last night though, she was so excited because a little boy from her class wanted to go with her.  It didnt hurt things that they were having an ice cream social!  Talk about twisting a kids arm to go to church!  Emily was thrilled and when she got home she was beaming with excitement!  She came in the door and was thrilled that her friend had so much fun and wants to go back next week, she was thrilled he was able to meet her Papa at church and just to have a friend to go to church with her.  She was also so excited about how much he enjoyed the story they heard ~ where a dad and teacher were saved!  Its amazing to me how young she is but just wants people to be in church and  to hear about Jesus! 

Lately (ok, for about two weeks now), Benjamin goes around the house singing "Jesus loves me"!  It is the sweetest thing,  however, its ALL DAY every day!  He does twist it up a notch and tries to put a new song in there.  Today though, I started in singing a Chris Tomlin song "I will follow".  I simply said the words "where you stay, i'll stay" and then Ben chimed in singing "where you go, i'll go".  i then said "I will" and he finished it by saying "follow you".  I was amazed that 1. he knew the words but 2. at how much what we listen to on the radio our kids really pay attention too!  That is the only way he hears the song and it touched my heart!  After we took Emily to school today, that song just happened to come on and I was nearly in tears listening and watching my 3 year sing such a powerful song of worship to our Lord!

Do you see the light at the end of the tunnel?

Today is National Organization Rare Disease Day!  Honestly, I wish Emily didnt fall into the category of "rare disease".  Sometimes I think my life ~ and hers ~ would be so much easier.  I also find it ironic that its NORD day and five years ago Emily began treatment for her HLH.  Not that its a day to "celebrate" but what a day to bring awareness.


So many other "common" diseases you see foundations, walks, events in raising money to support and to "find a cure".  But have you ever thought about the diseases that so many Americans do suffer from that are rare.  Some diseases where its terminal and some where its so rare that the doctor that is in charge of treating your child ~ has only seen a couple cases and needs to reach out to specialists at other hospitals...even in Canada!  This was the case for Emily when she was diagnosed.  We also have to remember that with any "sick" person, yes the person is the one that is suffering from the disease and has to take all the medication but it also affects the entire family.  Before Emily got sick we just were living day to day as a "normal" family.  We still live as a normal family its just our normal now is different then someone else.


Its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  When Emily was diagnosed and put on all the medications and she did a few different chemos and when she got on her 4th chemo, her doctor said in 18 months she will be coming off it...she will be "cured".  We had our light at the end of the tunnel.  It was awesome the closer the 18 month mark came - knowing we (she) was closer to being finished with her medication and we could go on to the "normal" life we lived before HLH.  The Lord had/has other plans and that is when, a year later, she was being treated for it again but it was showing itself in different forms.  We now live with no light at the end of the tunnel.  We now live with knowing this is her life.  The only light that i can see - is the light we have in knowing we have Jesus in our hearts and when He calls us home...we will have finally reached the light at the end of the tunnel.  There, Emily will be healed for good.  


Even though today is NORD day for rare diseases....it also makes me think of all the ones suffering from diseases that can be treated or are seeking treatment from something.  It makes me think of the women close to me that have suffered from breast cancer.  Even though breast cancer (or cancer in general) isn't rare, I am sure they looked for their light at the end of the tunnel.  People with heart disease ~ again...looking for their tunnel.  I do hope that when you are deciding which light to follow, what tunnel you opt to go in ~ make sure you go in the one where Jesus will lead you.  Where He will follow you, carry you when you cant walk anymore, hold you when you need to cry and need comfort.  He is the light at the end of the tunnel. 


I heard this song today and thought it was a perfect song for the blog today.

How safe do you feel?

This may seem rather strange but really, how safe do you feel?  Do you feel safe in your house? When you leave and go to the store?  When you have to run to the drug store to pick up medicine for your child that has a high fever at midnight ~ do you feel safe doing that by yourself?

I am seriously the BIGGEST chicken around. I am scared of everything...ok, nearly everything.  I am scared of flying ~ but will do it when it needs to be done.  I am scared of spiders...like deathly scared, snakes fall in there too. Add heights to that as well.  The list can go on and on and honestly, you would get tired of reading about all my fears.  

I am scared when I hear Emily cough, even if it means nothing.  I am scared when Emily just seems to snore louder then normal or just has a weird look on her face.  Today is the 5 year anniversary of when we got an answer to what was going on in her little 2 year old body.  Today is the day five years ago that the "herd" of doctors came rushing in our room with smiles on their face and rattled off some disease that has almost all the letters of the alphabet in it!  Since then, I think I have honestly lived in some type of fear.  But in all this, there is one place that I have always felt safe ~ that is in HIS arms.  Jesus has been there to hold me, carry me, lift me up.  He has been there to heal Emily each time and to hold her in His hands during each little incident.  That is where I find my strength and my safe place.

Where is your safe place?  Are you resting in the arms of Jesus Christ?

 

How extreme are you?

Saturday Bryan wasn't feeling well and opted to stay home from church on Sunday.  He told me this on Saturday night before we went to bed.  As we were going to bed and I was trying to get to sleep (Bryan took some cold medicine...that is all I'm saying!) the feeling came over me of ~ I get to sleep in a little bit in the morning.  So if I don't fall asleep fast...not an issue, I get to sleep in and have another PJ day!  Well, morning came and Emily really wanted to go to church.  I sat there and tried to talk her into NOT wanting to go.  She still insisted on going.  As I continued to get ready for church, I was reminded of something our Pastor has said during Sunday School to us ~ the devil works the most on Sundays.  Today was no exception.  I found it so easy to say Bryan isn't going...I'm not going.  It took my little girl to want to go - to get me to want to go.

I was glad I went.  Our teacher finished up a lesson he has been doing for the past few weeks.  I felt challenged when I left our class and to go into church.  Challenged to be EXTREME for Christ!  In all areas of my life.  Its like having a circle with lines coming out all around the circle with labels on each line.  One for family, one for work, one for friends and so on and then near the end of the lines there is finally one for religion.  Instead of having a line for religion have Christ in the middle of the circle.  Having Him in the middle of the circle is the foundation for your life in ~ ALL areas ~ of your life.  That is the the extreme I want.  I want people to see Christ in me when I am at a doctors appointment with Emily or at the grocery store digging in my coupon binder.  I want people to see there is something different about me.....not just that I look like i crawled out of bed and decided to do grocery shopping!  My trust is completely in Christ ~ it needs to be!

I just finished reading a book called "The Vow".  It is amazing the what a struggle this couple dealt with and so soon after getting married.  I could relate when Kim (the husband) would talk about his wife in ICU....been there, done that!  What really amazed me though is how much faith and trust they put in Christ.  He was and is their rock.  Even when his wife came out of a coma and didnt know who he was - he stuck by her side and prayed constantly.  The Lord performed many miracles in their lives and it makes realize the miracles that He has done in my life especially with Emily.  This is a couple that, to me, shows extreme for Christ.  Its honestly how I want to be!

So are you ready?  Are you ready to become Extreme?

Proverbs 3:5 & 6 ~ NIV
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your
own understanding, in all your ways submit to Him and He
will make your paths right.

Are you Tebowing?

Those of you that know me, know I do NOT enjoy watching sports on TV.  I will go to any game but to sit down in front of the TV and watch sports - that's not what I call fun!  Saying that, I do know who Tim Tebow is.  I mean, really....if you lived under a shell, Im sure you would still know who the guy is.

I think he has become so known for not his football (yes, I even knew that ~ although I did have to look up what team he played for!) but for what is now known has "Tebowing".  My hat is off to the guy though...he will get down on one knee and bow his head to pray to God and thank Him.  Give HIM the glory!  I think this has also gotten alot of bad press.  He has been doing this for 6 years and now it seems all of a sudden the press has finally caught on to what he is doing and making a huge deal out of it.  My thoughts ~ make a huge deal out of it.  Why you ask?  Because it means more people are being shown and told about Jesus Christ ~ and in a good way!

It wasnt until I finally sat down to watch my DVR recording from Nightline that he was on from 2/3/12.  When I was watching it, it really hit me and actually brought me to tears.  Funny - maybe ~ but I saw a person...a real person.  Not a football player but a man that is on fire for God.  It doesnt bother him who sees him praying...he just gives all glory to God.

I didn't realize he is a Missionary kid and also that the doctor told his mom that she should abort him.  Can you imagine what the world would be talking about if he wasnt here?  It was so touching to see this interview and actually gave me a bigger respect for him.  He walks the walk.  He walks the walk as a believer.  He doesnt allow peer pressure to get to him.  He believes in purity until marriage.  He is building a school in the Philippines where his parents were missionaries and he gives back.

The part that got to me was how he gives back.  He goes to visit "sick kids" ~ of course a subject close to my heart.  He goes and spends time with cancer patients and gives them hope, puts a smile on their faces and just spends time with them.  He said in the interview that they had just lost their game and he was suppose to go and visit a cancer patient (one, I gathered he visits alot) and he was asked if he still wanted to go ~ his answer was YES!  He couldnt let this child down just because his team had just lost a game.  And he went to spend time with this little boy.

After seeing the interview, it really started to bother me all the negative press he gets. Yes, it may seem to get old to some people about the "Tebowing" but is it really so bad?  I think back to when we were trying to help Emily make a good choice on what type of wish she wanted.  Meeting someone was always at the top of her list ~ even though we knew that would probably not be a good decision as she would be shy and not enjoy it as much as a trip of some sort.  I thought about all the people she admired then.  I sat and thought that years later I would hate for her to regret her decision to meet someone considering how their life may have turned out ~ she then chose the Disney cruise ~ perfect choice in my eyes!

But seriously...look at all the role models there are out there.  Half of the singers or actors Emily used to love have been in jail, have DUI's, have been photographed doing drugs or pictures that may not be appropriate.  Here, with Tim Tebow, is a role model we can allow our kids to watch, to model their lives after.  Is it really that bad to have our kids get down on one knee and praise God for what just happened in their life?  Honestly, I would rather see my child do that, save themselves for marriage and live a good God believing life then to have them model other stars that have been in jail, are in rehab for drugs, have a different girlfriend every week, have affairs with multiple people.  

Who do you want your child to have a role model of?  Is it really that bad to have our kids kneel before an amazing God? Is it really that bad to live a life that is an example and a witness for Christ?  There is no doubt that Tim lives a life serving the one true God ~ I know I want my kids to admire a "star" like him!

What window will you look out?

Its been one of "those days" for the past week and a half!   Last Monday (2/6) Emily had her doctor appointment at the hospital.  This isn't as simple as driving to your pediatrician...this is a long morning for us. So we leave and make the 20-25 minute drive, go up and down in the parking structure looking for a spot, then its into the hospital and to the offices!  Not bad right?  But then its the waiting in the waiting room, waiting in the actual examine room, waiting for the labs and check out.  We spend ALOT of time - just waiting.  This was a big day though for Emily ~ for us.   This was the day that we find out if she will be taken off the steroids.  Let me remind you....she has been on them since July of 2010.  With all the excitement of the possibility of the end of one medication (which some others would follow since she is taking them ONLY because she is on the steroids), Emily was in such good spirits.  She was able to get into a pair of jeans that she hasnt fit into for about a year or more and she has lost 10 lbs since the last time I weighed her at home!  So as we get closer to the hospital, I find myself reminding her that she has alot to be thankful for and that if he doesnt take her off the steroids, there is a reason and she can't be upset about it.  With a smile beaming from ear to ear...she simply says "I know Mom".

So she is weighed, her blood pressure and everything is taken and then we are put into a room to wait more.  The Resident comes in and asks all the "normal" questions and looks at Emily.  She then leaves an minutes later she returns with Dr. Adams.  He looks at her and even makes a little joke (very uncommon for him) and goes over her medication and now....now is the big moment.  The moment we have all been waiting for and then he says it.  He says what we were hoping to not hear.  He was simply reducing the steroids NOT taking her off them.  She went from 2.5 mgs to 2.0 mg.  He tried to paint a silver lining for her (me) and say it is really being reduced by 20%. 

As we left the appointment, I felt so disappointed.  Almost like I had just been hit in the face and Emily looks at me and smiles and just says "It's ok, I fit into my jeans today".  That was my silver lining, even though I was still disappointed.

When we were at this appointment, Bryan came home from work to take Benjamin to the doctor.  Yes, my son that NEVER gets sick was sick.  I called Bryan on my way to drop Emily off at school and he gave me the news ~ Ben had a double ear infection AND bronchitis. Not a big deal right...he got medication and he should be good.  Not for me.  I now felt like not only was I hit in the face but now....now I was just punched in the stomach.  This is (was) a huge trigger for me.  Emily initially became ill by simply getting bronchitis and now Ben is and, oh by the way, he is about the same age she was when she got sick.  All these feelings were going on in my head and during it all I found myself trying to hold back the tears so I could just get Emily to school.  I didnt want to ruin her day of rejoicing about the jeans.  I dropped her off, got back in the car and cried.  I could only think....Lord, I cant do it with another child.  We are still dealing with Emily....I cant handle another sick child.  I dried my eyes and went into Walgreens to get Bens medication.  This was the start of the past week and a half.....

So that was Monday!  Tuesday I started to not feel good.  And the cycle began.  Ben was sick and now I was too.  I could only pray that Emily was not going to get sick.  By Sunday, Ben was better - still coughing but better...me, well, I just felt plain miserable.  We went to church (Emily stayed at my parents house on Saturday night) and after church was over - one look at Emily and I knew.  She had a fever.  So this Monday Emily was home from school (and Tuesday and today), throwing up and a fever.  I still wasnt feeling good, starting to potty train Ben and her being sick just did NOT make for a good day.  To top things off, calling Dr. Adams office to inform them of her being sick only to get a phone call back stating if her fever spikes again ~ she will need to be admitted.  My heart sank and I prayed for the Lords healing.  Well, Tuesday before going to bed, her fever was gone and it was the best night sleep we all received over the past couple of days!

As I was doing my devotions on Monday (2/6), a little "story" was in my book and it talked about a situation.  They used the example of having 2 windows and the same thing is going on out both windows it's just which way do you choose to see it.  Out of this window was all the disappointment and heartache that was going on and out of window 2 was the same situation however, a different light was shed on it.  After reading that I knew it applied to me but I didnt realize how much it would over the next week.  I was looking out window 1 with all the disappointment about Emily not being off the steroids and Benjamin being sick and then trying to potty train him and the constant changing of pants....when, in fact, Emily showed me to look out window 2 as she was doing ~ looking at the positives ~ yes, she wasnt taking off the steroids, BUT she was able to get into her jeans and she lost 10 lbs, yes Ben is sick but he is NOT showing signs like Emily did, yes Ben continues to pee his pants BUT look how many times he has actually made it to the potty!  She is quick to remind me to give him his "potty treat" when he does it and to praise him for a job well done.

Its amazing what a difference choosing to look out a different window can do.  The world and different situations dont seem as bad when you look out the window where you see the light shining!  Today choose to see a negative situation from a new light, look out that other window ~ you will see how positive things really are.