Emily's life with HLH

Her children arise up, and call her blessed...
Proverbs 31:28


Mothers Day was Sunday and it's always such a blessing.  It's a blessing to have my kids with me and my husband.  To be able to share this day with my mom and my mother-in-law.  Its just wonderful.  But I also dont forget the pain that this day can also bring for some.

On Mothers Day, I am often in thought of the mothers that have passed away. Its apart of life, I realize this.  But what I am talking about is when the pass away at an early age ~ from a sickness or just so suddenly.  I often think of my cousin who is just a couple years older then me but has been without her mother for several years.  I think of one of my good friends who has been without her mom for half her life and she is about my age.  I cant imagine how incredible this day is for them as they have their own kids but how there must be this void in their lives as well.  There is almost that guilt I feel because I still have my mom here.  They have helped me to not take her (or my mother-in-law) for granted.  

Not only can mothers day be such a bittersweet day like exampled above but it can also be such a

Ben wanted Austin to wear his jacket 

painful day for others.  Woman so wanting and longing to have a baby.  Wanting or trying to get pregnant and not being able too.  Longing to adopt a baby but how long that process is.  It is a very hard situation to deal with.  My heart goes out to them because I also remember how it is.  I remember the years trying to get pregnant (not knowing that I have PCOS at this time) and it not happening.     How painful it was to celebrate mothers day and knowing I wasnt in that category.  I wasnt in the elite club that I so longed to be in. 

The Lord is amazing how He works.  He has blessed me with three amazing kids.  They are all

different right from the start.  It is incredible to see the people they are, who they are becoming and praying for what they will do and be.  Austin was my easy baby.  Never cried, asked to go to bed, walked early and everything else.  Emily was a good baby as well she was just always sick.  Ben...he was a good baby but I think he is making up for everything now ~ from all three kids!    He is a handful to say the least!  He is four and all over!  To give you an idea of how some of our days can be ~ he can be so good at school and after we get home in a 4 hour time frame can get in trouble for painting his finger nails (ok the top of ALL his fingers) red and getting some on the table cloth (thank goodness it was vinyl).  After Bryan came home I hear him yelling at Ben....Ben actually listened and did NOT throw rocks around the yard near the patio but he did throw them all over the back of the yard.  After he was sent in the house he just played at the table.  I finished the dishes and sat down and about 2 minutes later, Bryan is in the house yelling at him and spanking him.  I mean seriously, what could he have done to warrant that?  Well, he took two of Emily's dolls from her dollhouse, took the dog's food and put it in the dog's water and then proceeded to take the dolls and have them swim in the water infested with food.  Oh, did I mention there was also water all over the hardwood floors because the dolls were splashing too much?  Sometimes I wonder if Benjmain is just too bored or just too smart he doesnt know what to do with himself.  Hopefully its the last thought because with his

Sneaking the camera & taking pics of himself

imagination I have no idea how he could be bored!  This is just a sample of how my days are with Ben.  It never ends.  I admit I will lose my patients, be so upset with him or just plain ready to give up by 2:45 when I get Emily.  But with all the day-to-day events that come my way, I still sit back and praise my Lord for the amazing kids He gave me.  I may not have the confidence in raising them or I may not even feel like Iam that good of a mom BUT God knows what He is doing and I am not going to argue with His plan!  He must've thought if I could handle what we dealt with when Emily was sick & in-patient, doctors appointments and the list goes on  ~ than having Ben would be like a walk in the park!  I still sit back and wonder how He thinks I can handle it.  I cant.  The only way I do is being in constant communication with Him...loving Him and thanking Him for the blessings I have ~ the good and bad days!

Last year at mothers day was so special.  Emily asked Jesus to come into her heart the day after.  This year ~ a couple weeks ago ~ she was baptized.  Its times like this that I know I am doing His will.  Raising them to know and love God and to grow up in a Bible preaching church!    I remember that night like it was just last night.  Praying with her in her room when she went to bed.  Oh how my

Baptism 4/14/13

heart overwhelms with joy knowing my baby will be in heaven for eternity!   Its been 11 years, but I remember the night Austin did.  He was in his room and me in mine.  Bryan and I were engaged.  Austin yelled to me from his room "Mom, will you help me to pray and ask Jesus in my heart".  And thats what happened.  We yelled back and forth as he prayed and while I held back the tears! I just cant wait for when Benjamin does!