The cat is now out of the bag ~ besides reading and scrapbooking (which I havent done in a long while) - one of my favorite shows is The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
I honestly have no idea why I enjoy the show so much. To be honest, i dont care for the other housewives show ~ so why this one? Maybe the "idea" of Beverly Hills (in California...not Michigan...not the same!) The "rich and famous", everyone knows "somebody". I dont know...I just cant put my finger on it.
What I do know though is how amazing their houses are. How amazing they all dress. How it must be nice that they are all skinny and have chef's! That they can just host a dinner party and its amazing! How they are invited to the most elaborate of events or can just fly to Hawaii when they want. Money does buy alot of things!
After watching it now the two seasons, what I have learned is this: money CANT buy everything. Money does NOT make you happy. Going to incredible parties or hanging out with famous people does NOT change who you are...maybe who you know, but not who you are. This past season was a hard one. As many of you may know that Russell Armstrong died last summer ~ who was a husband of Taylor Armstrong who is on the show. This season focused alot on abuse within the marriage of this couple and it was very sad to see how far Taylor was breaking down. You go to another cast member and you see how she starts spinning out of control due to being an alcoholic. The others have issues as well but it certainly wasnt anything like these two.
It made me realize that money doesnt stop abuse from happening in a marriage and money doesnt stop someone from becoming an alcoholic. Do I wish sometimes that I could have just one of their paychecks, yes! Do I wish I could have the drama that they all deal with, NO!
Money may buy happiness in the form of material things. When I saved my money for a few years (yes, YEARS) to buy a real Louis Vuitton purse ~ I was happy....I still am! Do I treat it like gold when I use it ~ for sure! But what makes me happy about it is that I saved the money. I didnt just pull a credit card out and bought it because I could....it took dedication and alot of garage sales and mom-to-mom sales to earn the money to buy it. It did and does make me happy BUT it doesnt give me true happiness.
I get true happiness from being with my family, going to church, being able to sleep in one day, reading a book. But mostly my happiness comes from having Jesus! Having Him with me daily, where I go, what I do, what I say...He is with me always. Once I asked Him to come into my heart to live ~ that was it....He is NOT moving out! This is where happiness comes from. Not being invited to the next incredible party, not going and buying the next hottest item ($25,000 pair of sunglasses as one of the girls bragged about). Not having money to buy whatever. Some things may not always be what it seems ~ as in Taylor Armstrongs case. She didnt realize the financial situation her husband was in until after he passed away.
I hope you will get your happiness from Jesus, from the fact that He can live with you forever and then one day, you can live with Him forever in heaven. Happiness with material things is substituting something that is missing in your life, possibly, and maybe that something is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ!
Oh to have faith like a child! Why is it that when we start to grow up, even though we still have our faith, it doesn't seem to come as easy to share it?
For me, I know I can sit down and share it with you ~ like this. If you were in front of me, I would be able to share it but I would be more nervous about doing so. I think it's the "rejection" issue that comes into play. I think we are all afraid of being rejected by others and if we put ourselves out there and share our faith and witness to others ~ we could end up being rejected.
I look at Emily and her faith and love for going to church. This is her first year in Awana and LOVES it. I cant stress that enough! I didnt know exactly what Awana really entailed until she was part of it. For those of you who dont know, she learns Bible versus and says them each week. She earns "wings" and beads when she has accomplished different things. Last week she was able to say 10 versus ~ a few were review but the rest were new ones. Last night she said the Old Testament books of the Bible, got her next Awana book and said about 3-4 versus out of there! This being her very first year in it, I am just so proud of her! If she finishes this book by the end of the Awana year, she will have finished 3 books! That is ALOT of versus! She amazes me.
So, she loves going to church. She is always asking people to come to church, go to Awana with her...she just loves it! You can see how let down she is when a friend cant come. Last night though, she was so excited because a little boy from her class wanted to go with her. It didnt hurt things that they were having an ice cream social! Talk about twisting a kids arm to go to church! Emily was thrilled and when she got home she was beaming with excitement! She came in the door and was thrilled that her friend had so much fun and wants to go back next week, she was thrilled he was able to meet her Papa at church and just to have a friend to go to church with her. She was also so excited about how much he enjoyed the story they heard ~ where a dad and teacher were saved! Its amazing to me how young she is but just wants people to be in church and to hear about Jesus!
Lately (ok, for about two weeks now), Benjamin goes around the house singing "Jesus loves me"! It is the sweetest thing, however, its ALL DAY every day! He does twist it up a notch and tries to put a new song in there. Today though, I started in singing a Chris Tomlin song "I will follow". I simply said the words "where you stay, i'll stay" and then Ben chimed in singing "where you go, i'll go". i then said "I will" and he finished it by saying "follow you". I was amazed that 1. he knew the words but 2. at how much what we listen to on the radio our kids really pay attention too! That is the only way he hears the song and it touched my heart! After we took Emily to school today, that song just happened to come on and I was nearly in tears listening and watching my 3 year sing such a powerful song of worship to our Lord!
Today is National Organization Rare Disease Day! Honestly, I wish Emily didnt fall into the category of "rare disease". Sometimes I think my life ~ and hers ~ would be so much easier. I also find it ironic that its NORD day and five years ago Emily began treatment for her HLH. Not that its a day to "celebrate" but what a day to bring awareness.
So many other "common" diseases you see foundations, walks, events in raising money to support and to "find a cure". But have you ever thought about the diseases that so many Americans do suffer from that are rare. Some diseases where its terminal and some where its so rare that the doctor that is in charge of treating your child ~ has only seen a couple cases and needs to reach out to specialists at other hospitals...even in Canada! This was the case for Emily when she was diagnosed. We also have to remember that with any "sick" person, yes the person is the one that is suffering from the disease and has to take all the medication but it also affects the entire family. Before Emily got sick we just were living day to day as a "normal" family. We still live as a normal family its just our normal now is different then someone else.
Its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. When Emily was diagnosed and put on all the medications and she did a few different chemos and when she got on her 4th chemo, her doctor said in 18 months she will be coming off it...she will be "cured". We had our light at the end of the tunnel. It was awesome the closer the 18 month mark came - knowing we (she) was closer to being finished with her medication and we could go on to the "normal" life we lived before HLH. The Lord had/has other plans and that is when, a year later, she was being treated for it again but it was showing itself in different forms. We now live with no light at the end of the tunnel. We now live with knowing this is her life. The only light that i can see - is the light we have in knowing we have Jesus in our hearts and when He calls us home...we will have finally reached the light at the end of the tunnel. There, Emily will be healed for good.
Even though today is NORD day for rare diseases....it also makes me think of all the ones suffering from diseases that can be treated or are seeking treatment from something. It makes me think of the women close to me that have suffered from breast cancer. Even though breast cancer (or cancer in general) isn't rare, I am sure they looked for their light at the end of the tunnel. People with heart disease ~ again...looking for their tunnel. I do hope that when you are deciding which light to follow, what tunnel you opt to go in ~ make sure you go in the one where Jesus will lead you. Where He will follow you, carry you when you cant walk anymore, hold you when you need to cry and need comfort. He is the light at the end of the tunnel.
I heard this song today and thought it was a perfect song for the blog today.
This may seem rather strange but really, how safe do you feel? Do you feel safe in your house? When you leave and go to the store? When you have to run to the drug store to pick up medicine for your child that has a high fever at midnight ~ do you feel safe doing that by yourself?
I am seriously the BIGGEST chicken around. I am scared of everything...ok, nearly everything. I am scared of flying ~ but will do it when it needs to be done. I am scared of spiders...like deathly scared, snakes fall in there too. Add heights to that as well. The list can go on and on and honestly, you would get tired of reading about all my fears.
I am scared when I hear Emily cough, even if it means nothing. I am scared when Emily just seems to snore louder then normal or just has a weird look on her face. Today is the 5 year anniversary of when we got an answer to what was going on in her little 2 year old body. Today is the day five years ago that the "herd" of doctors came rushing in our room with smiles on their face and rattled off some disease that has almost all the letters of the alphabet in it! Since then, I think I have honestly lived in some type of fear. But in all this, there is one place that I have always felt safe ~ that is in HIS arms. Jesus has been there to hold me, carry me, lift me up. He has been there to heal Emily each time and to hold her in His hands during each little incident. That is where I find my strength and my safe place.
Where is your safe place? Are you resting in the arms of Jesus Christ?
Saturday Bryan wasn't feeling well and opted to stay home from church on Sunday. He told me this on Saturday night before we went to bed. As we were going to bed and I was trying to get to sleep (Bryan took some cold medicine...that is all I'm saying!) the feeling came over me of ~ I get to sleep in a little bit in the morning. So if I don't fall asleep fast...not an issue, I get to sleep in and have another PJ day! Well, morning came and Emily really wanted to go to church. I sat there and tried to talk her into NOT wanting to go. She still insisted on going. As I continued to get ready for church, I was reminded of something our Pastor has said during Sunday School to us ~ the devil works the most on Sundays. Today was no exception. I found it so easy to say Bryan isn't going...I'm not going. It took my little girl to want to go - to get me to want to go.
I was glad I went. Our teacher finished up a lesson he has been doing for the past few weeks. I felt challenged when I left our class and to go into church. Challenged to be EXTREME for Christ! In all areas of my life. Its like having a circle with lines coming out all around the circle with labels on each line. One for family, one for work, one for friends and so on and then near the end of the lines there is finally one for religion. Instead of having a line for religion have Christ in the middle of the circle. Having Him in the middle of the circle is the foundation for your life in ~ ALL areas ~ of your life. That is the the extreme I want. I want people to see Christ in me when I am at a doctors appointment with Emily or at the grocery store digging in my coupon binder. I want people to see there is something different about me.....not just that I look like i crawled out of bed and decided to do grocery shopping! My trust is completely in Christ ~ it needs to be!
I just finished reading a book called "The Vow". It is amazing the what a struggle this couple dealt with and so soon after getting married. I could relate when Kim (the husband) would talk about his wife in ICU....been there, done that! What really amazed me though is how much faith and trust they put in Christ. He was and is their rock. Even when his wife came out of a coma and didnt know who he was - he stuck by her side and prayed constantly. The Lord performed many miracles in their lives and it makes realize the miracles that He has done in my life especially with Emily. This is a couple that, to me, shows extreme for Christ. Its honestly how I want to be!
So are you ready? Are you ready to become Extreme?
Proverbs 3:5 & 6 ~ NIV Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths right.
