Trusting the Lord

October 2011

Trusting the Lord ~ seems pretty easy doesnt it?  I felt like I did, until my trust and faith was tested.  In 2007 when my world was turned upside down, that is when I learned what it really meant to trust the Lord.  Trusting Him means giving up all control.  For me it was a little easier then it was for Bryan.  Bryan tends to be in control of everything and this was something he had absolutely no control over at all. 

I read once, just before she went into the hospital that first time, this millionaire stopped, pick up a penny and paused for a moment.  When the couple that was with him asked him why would he stop for just a penny when he had all this money, his reply was that it reminds him to always trust in God since it says on it "in God we trust".  Since that day, whenever I see a penny ~ I stop, pause and pick it up.  I keep a jar on my counter with the pennies i pick up and its a constant reminder of how I need to ALWAYS trust Him.  I found that every time Emily was going to have a procedure done or new results were going to be coming in, i would find a penny and say a little prayer.  Never did I realize how much my trust was going to be tested again just a few short years later.  I found this as a good testimony to the staff at the hospital to tell them we stay calm because our faith and trust in OUR God is what keeps us going ~ HE is the one in control NOT us! 




I do feel that morning on 9/30/10, when Emily called me that it was actually the voice of God, that lifting her into the tub and out and then getting her into her room, it was HE that helped me.  There is honestly no way I could have done this on my own and if you would have seen how Emily was that morning, you would honestly believe it was the voice of God as well!

At Disney World waiting for Aladdin & Jasmine ~ Benjamin

Another area that I feel I need to give complete trust over to Him is when it comes to Ben.  Although there have been numerous genetic testing done on Emily, and so far everything has come back indicating this is NOT genetic (PTL!), I still worry about Ben.  Any little cough he gets, i feel my heart speed up a little, any little runny nose he gets, the little bit of fear sets in.  I just have to trust that everything is going to be ok and that I can handle whatever the Lord has in store.

The other day when I wrote about loss ~ when Emily was in ICU it was very stressful not knowing what I would be walking into the next morning.  I would walk in with my backpack filled with books, my snacks and soda that i would sneak in and of course my credit card for meals that day.  I would sit and watch Emily and pray ~ alot!  One prayer i would pray though is that if the Lord took her, please let it be after she was saved.  See, I knew she hadnt asked Jesus in heart yet.  I couldnt bare the thought of losing her, knowing she wasnt saved.  The Lord continues to heal her and the day after Mothers day in 2011, she asked Jesus in her heart.  It was another area, where i just had to give all control over to Him ~ trust that He would heal her so He could also save her!


As I sign off today, I heard (i believe from Joyce Meyer) that before you go to bed and pray tonight, instead of immediately asking Him for something ~ why dont you immediately thank Him for 5 things that happened today.  I try to do that every day now.  It honestly makes me more aware of things that I have seen Him do throughout the day that maybe I hadnt paid attention to otherwise.  

Do I feel I am strong enough to handle what the Lord has in store for me and my kids lives ~ honestly, I think HE thinks I am stronger then I am, saying that, I will continue to trust and when a "storm" comes, I will be there on me knees praying and trusting that this is HIS will and plan!

So, what are you thankful for today and what are you being tested on to give up complete control and trust over to Him?  Once you do, you will be lost in Him forever!